Updated: Jan 23
Greetings from the other side.
We have officially crossed over, my friends.
From 2020 to 2021, we went over that bridge.
And most of went with a happy dance and a chorus of hallelujahs.
"Let this s*** be over," we pray. "Let us finally see some better days."
We are here. Exactly where we have arrived isn't quite clear yet. A lot of us, myself included are in a re-visioning, refining, re-awakening, re-membering, and re-searching phase of existence. It feels like a full on incubation mode. Which means there is probably a lot of experimentation involved as we try and fail to get it Right the first time. That's ok, Soul is patient, waiting for us to get our courage together to walk away from the egoic-driven lifestyle for good.
One thing, for me, is clear: I am emerging from the land of I-Couldn't-Possibly.
This is the land whose journey to is preceded by But.
A big old But.
A big old sneaky But.
And it's the But that acts as the ferryman to the realm of I-couldn't-possibly because it takes us straight down the avenue of initial doubt, pre-emptive worry, and the classic talisman of fear--self-sabotage.
It goes something like this: "I really want to do this amazing thing that feels so aligned and wonderful, but, I couldn't possibly." [Add all the becauses and long list of reasons / excuses thereafter.] Any of this sound familiar?
Ok, maybe not. And maybe that is because this journey is sneaky. It's the whisper in the brain, located within the neural pathways, that breathes sabotage onto all things that seek to enlighten, lighten, or inspire in a big and new way. It's the death-breath to the new seeds of possibility.
"Squash it with 'I couldn't possibly'", it whispers, and that is exactly what happens. And if we aren't paying attention, it will take us into those well-entrenched, often used, regularly fired up neural pathways and ferry us all the way to the other side of Right--which is not Wrong.
It's fear. The other side of Right is I-Couldn't-Possibly.
Right is what is for you. Right is what beckons softly, pulls strongly, recurs in signs, omens, dreams, conversations, daydreams, thoughts, expressions, etc., until we finally say "Oh yea, that seems like a hell of a good idea, and I need to do something with this." And that requires saying a big NOPE to the ferryman But, who leads us to the land of I-Couldn't-Possibly.
Are you feeling me here?
I am feeling myself. So if you aren't feeling it yet, hold on. It's coming. Or at least, I am wishing that blessing for you that it does come. And when you are ready, it will.
That emergence. That sweet walk into the sunlight after days of darkness. Because, one thing is so clear: The land of I-Couldn't-Possibly is daaaark. And why wouldn't it be? There is not a lot to shine light on. Rather, we are squelching the light brought in by newness when we continue to take that same ferry every day, at those exact times when we feel the pull of inspired dreams begin to orient us in a new direction.
Usually, we don't want to miss our ferry. Except that, in this case, we do. We want to send that ferry on down the line. Sink it, blow it up, retire it for good, dismantle it.
Whatever that dismemberment process looks like, do it.
We are building new neural pathways in 2021, my friends. We truly are. So get ready.
I'll say this for myself: I have spent most of my life riding that ferry over to the land of I-Couldn't-Possibly. That ferry + set of neural pathways have all been well-used, and well-paid in sacrifices of my dreams and actions not taken towards what is possible for my life.
For almost all of this incarnation, I have definitely been sabotaging my infinite abilities to manifest what I deeply desire.
Instead, I spent most of my time in the dreamer's state of mind. This, at least, means that I had the courage / audacity to dream dreams for myself and how I wanted to live. And once those dreams sounded so wonderful and lovely, I boarded the But ferry with all of my worthiness wounding and narratives about how small I was, and about 28 other victorian steam trunks of psychological, emotional, and ancestral baggage, and I sat in that well-worn seat to make that quick passage over to the land of I-Couldn't-Possibly. It was so familiar and normal to me to do that.
My teacher, Katherine Bell, describes this state of being as "airy-fairy"; that state where one can dream and feel into all the loveliness and richness that they can cultivate (the things that are FOR them, inspired by Soul/Spirit (inspired = in-spirit)) and never doing a damn thing about them otherwise. It's the sigh before one gets on the But ferry. *Sigh* "This sounds so wonderful, and I feel so good thinking about this as a dream, but I couldn't possibly have this as my life."
There she sails away again.
Lucky for us, dreams and Soul speak pretty loudly once they start showing up. We might try to drown them by letting them slip overboard while on the ferry to the other side--they aren't going to sink though. Dreams, by their nature, are buoyant. Once they have broken through the precious bubble of our conscious minds, they will continue to float back up there time and time again. They will persist. Dreams, destiny, Source, the power of Soul, all of these things are both persistent and resilient.
Momentum builds, even if we feed it just a little. It builds and it rolls on, stronger. And one day, you'll miss the ferry because you are hanging out with dreams and momentum to do something with them longer instead. And then you'll miss it the next day. And the next. And the next. Until that ferry no longer has a path to sail on. The way has been re-written. And where it goes is no longer to the Land of I -Couldn't-Possibly. This path is the one that leads you Home. To all that is Right and for you. The one that feeds you and excites you and breathes the breath of life into and onto all that you are moving towards and through. That's the new pathway that is created.
So how do we know we are spending time in the land of I-Couldn't-Possibly?
We can start by asking ourselves some seemingly simple, yet very deep questions:
How afraid do I feel of my dreams?
Is it my voice, truly my own voice, that is giving me the reasons and excuses for why I couldn't possibly?
Am I ready and willing to try something new? Even if it is just a small, somewhat shaky step, will I show up for it and take it?
The antidote to being afraid of our dreams is sometimes to just move towards them anyway. And go where guided in order to do so. It doesn't have to a be a big show. Just a small movement in a new way will already set a new dance sequence in motion. This is the medicine.
Believe. Trust. Your dreams are not here to tantalize you and torment you about a life that you don't have the power to create. You absolutely DO have that power. And the moment you realize it, or the series of moments that bring you to that reckoning, is the time when you will stop being "airy-fairy" and will be fully ready to move by using your own wings, that fly on the breath of your own voice, that are soaring you to somewhere you have never been before. Somewhere you will continue to visit more and more until you decide you are staying.
Keep yours eyes on the horizon. That's the direction you are headed. That new one that rises like the sun and brings an enormous amount of light and clarity.
Remember, this process looks different for everybody. So go as you are called to go. And don't forget there is always support for you. Always love, always someone cheering for you to keep going. Life loves, you and so do I.
Here's to a new year of creating new neural pathways to fire our dreams up upon, that will cause those sparks that lead us to guided action, that will ultimately lead us Home.
Here's to new pathways of connection in 2021, my friends.
I'll see you in the reality we co-create together. Amen.