Eliminating the Word 'Try'

Words and dialogue are the internal sustenance we use to facilitate the relationship with ourselves.

Everything we produce when we speak is a direct transmittal of what is happening inside of us. This works in the inverse as well--what we are receiving from the internal worlds of others, via spoken transmission, carries an interaction with it that impacts us in more than one way.

When we make a conscious choice to pull back on the negativity, plug in to what we are feeding ourselves as our internal dialogue, and purposefully set out to change the way we relate to ourselves, that is when we figure out that some words and patterns of communicating can no longer serve us.

There are many words like this, but the focus here is on the word 'try'. 'Try' is a very sticky word, because it does not hold the weight of commitment, nor does it say that we will not do something. It is the emotionally unavailable word in the lexicon, the one that isn't really showing up but doesn't want to leave, either.

In terms of manifestation and co-creation, using the word 'try' is not going to get us where we want to go. When we decide to show up for our lives, our work, our purpose, our relationships, we are no longer trying. We just are: doing, living.

I have to thank Gala Darling for this insight about the word 'try' in particular. She was my introduction to self love and manifestation (if you don't know who she is, look her up!). She is adamantly against the word 'try' and made her point saying this: "If a friend says they will try to pick you up from the airport, how much faith do you have that this person will actually be there?"

Probably not much.

And that is because there is no commitment or intention in the word. There is plenty of room for failure, about 50% in my opinion.

When we try, we can either succeed, or fail, and we are putting that message out to the universe because we are not convinced of our success. And if we ourselves are not convinced of our success/abilities/worthiness/love/etc., how will we be able to show others or the universe that we are? We won't.

There are a lot of reasons for using the word try, and some of them may include fear of commitment, fear of showing up in a big way, no secure boundaries in place, feeling unworthy or unable, self-doubt, on and on and on. In a scarcity and fear-based society, the list is endless for why we should play it small and keep ourselves out of the risk of failure.

When we say we will try, it means we have already accounted for the failure that may occur. Which means we are seeing it from the end with that as as possible outcome, which means that is what we are sending out to the universe and what we will therefore attract back to us.

Back to the opening statements about feeding ourselves internal streams of dialogue: if everything is always based on trying, we are not living to our highest potential, or to our highest good. We are holding ourselves back.

We are accountable for our lives because we are co-creators.

We are doers, not tryers.

But we have to have a lot of compassion for ourselves: 'try' is a common word, it is used so often, and when we are used to having it around inside of us, or in our communication with others, it is comfortable. It is how we are relating to ourselves and to our world.

The shift happens when we are ready to be in full ownership of our own destiny. When we begin to choose that, things begin also to fall away. Words are part of that. Usually a big part.

There are some ways to monitor these kinds of words (like 'try', 'could', 'maybe', etc.):

  1. If you aren't certain about how often you use the word 'try', start tuning in, and every time you catch yourself saying it, take notice.

  2. It may help to write down thoughts about how often you are using the word and if you are surprised by this. Chances are, it is coming out on autopilot, as a canned response.

  3. Get clear on why you are trying and not just doing. This may take some time, and it's yours to take. Be honest, be fearless, and be compassionate and patient with yourself. This is fundamental work.

  4. Find a replacement for it and start consciously pulling that word out instead. This takes practice because you are rewriting your go-to lexicon. Its' ok to slip up and say "try", and then say, "what I meant was, 'I will'.

  5. Notice how your life changes. Because it will. You will start feeling differently about yourself, in many ways most likely. And it will radiate to others.

  6. There is a good chance that you will become more aware of the people around you who are continuing to rely on the word 'try'. Remember to have compassion for them. It is a journey and we all have to travel it on our own cycles. And it is always ok to ask for clarification if you aren't sure what the other person is meaning when they say 'try'.

  7. Don't be afraid to keep going if there are other words that no longer serve you. Purge the lexicon and bring in some fresh and new vocab to feed your life with. It makes a huge difference.

Eliminating the word 'try', and other conscious practices like it, are ways to expand our awareness and bring attention to what is important. The relationship we have with ourselves is the THE most important relationship we will ever cultivate and sustain, so growing a sound dialogue internally begins with our use of words.

Words are building blocks that make up a bigger picture, so every single one of them carries an impact. Attuning our minds to their frequency of use and their real meaning is part of the work towards creating ourselves to be the most fully expressed, highest beings possible. Releasing old patterns, like this, makes room for new and more aligned ones to enter into our lives.

As we come into these practices, we are creating a legacy of doers, which means we can.

And we will.